Lab Journal Entry #30

[matril]

"Confession"

Int., Tori’s original bedroom. TORI is at her desk, exhausted and harrowed and shaky.

TORI
(Hoarsely) I’ve been posting the footage with very little commentary. I think it speaks for itself. I created a monster. (Fights nausea) Worse than a wild animal. A thinking, scheming thing – capable of unbelievable cruelty –

(Cut) So what have I been doing these last few months?

(Cut) Can’t you guess? (Shudders) Fulfilling that monster’s request. Making another one.

(Cut) You can imagine how different it’s been this time around. Last time I was thoughtless, giddy with my discoveries and successes. Time passed in a blur. Now I can hardly get through each day. I can hardly bring myself to complete another step in the process, knowing what the end result will be.

(Cut) And believe me, I considered refusing to do it. Of course I did. How could I think to inflict another thing like that upon the world? But what choice do I have? The alternative is – unthinkable.

(Cut) It’s been harder for other reasons. I can’t use my lab – I was let go from that position weeks ago, when I failed to come back to work. I have to do it in my basement. Getting supplies is another problem – I’ve broken so many rules at this point, breached so many ethics –

(Cut) I hated to leave home – my dad and brother – but at the same time, I could hardly bear to be around them. Knowing it’s my fault – I couldn’t even look them in the face. (Sighs) Somehow I’ve managed to keep it a secret from Hannah so far. She has her own place now, but she comes to visit a lot. She’s been very worried about me since (chokes) William’s death. But I’ve tried to act as normal as possible. She assumes any unusual behavior has something to do with my grieving process.(Knock) Come in, Hannah.

ELI
(Entering) Hi.

TORI
(Turning and standing up in shock) It’s you. (Awkward pause) When did you get into town?

ELI
Last night. I called, but I guess your phone was off.

TORI
Yeah. I, uh, keep forgetting to pay my phone bills.

ELI
I guess you’ve been pretty distracted lately. (Long pause, then he gestures toward the camera) You’re still making your lab journal? I kind of assumed you’d stopped.

TORI
Well. Yes. But its purpose has changed.

ELI
Okay...(Another pause) Are you going to tell me? (TORI wrings her hands; ELI’s tighten in frustration) Look, Tori. I love you. But you’ve hardly talked to me for the last two months. I took time off of work to be with your family, and you haven’t even been there. (Softer) I don’t want to abandon you. I’m just getting the feeling you might not want me in your life anymore.

TORI
(Bursts out) It’s not like that.

ELI
Then what is it? (Pause) Please.

TORI
All right. All right. I’ll show you. (Sits shakily. Eli joins her, looking bewildered and concerned) But after this – after this, you won’t want anything to do with me.

ELI
Tori –

TORI
Here. (She pulls up something on her laptop. Audio from Entry #8 starts playing.)

Cut. Audio from Entry #11. TORI is standing at the door, hands wringing again. ELI is hunched forward, eyes wide, fearful

Cut. Audio from Entry #12 – “It will happen tonight” – TORI flees the room. ELI, alone, watches in growing horror

Cut. Audio from Entry #13. ELI’s face is full of worry.

Cut. Audio from Entry #14. ELI is horrified

Cut. Audio from Entry #18, Justine’s story. ELI’S hand is over his mouth

Cut. Audio from Entry #21, first sound of Creature’s voice. ELI’s jaw drops.

Cut. Audio from Entry #27, Creature’s struggle with Mrs. Clancy. ELI’S eyes are wet.

Cut. Audio from Entry #28, “We suffer together” ELI’S fists are clenched

Cut. Audio from Entry #29, “You will provide a companion for me, Cut, “I will give you one week.” ELI slowly lifts his head to the camera, wide-eyed and fearful again

Comments

[krpalmer.livejournal.com]

I've been keeping up with these entries but putting off commenting on them. It did get my attention that the Creature's appearance was described instead of it being "left to the imagination" (or "left out for the sake of the budget"), but this instalment did intrigue me in how, so far as I can remember, it seems to step away from "a direct translation of the original"...

[matril.livejournal.com]

Yeah, obviously if this had actually been produced, the details of the Creature's appearance would have been adjusted to what resources we had to work with. As long as it's hypothetical, though, I can be extravagant. :)

Having Eli know about the Creature was, to me, very important. I feel like Elizabeth is too much of an unwitting victim in the novel. Not to mention how much it strains plausibility for Tori to keep something like this a secret when she's broadcasting it to the Internet!

[sonetka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, with notes you actually have to go looking for them and it takes at least a little luck to find them. With a vlog, all you have to do is have an internet connection and know how to type.

[sonetka.livejournal.com]

Sorry, responded to the wrong post! But I liked Eli knowing as well -- I'm a little disappointed that Elizabeth doesn't in the original since I can't imagine that leaving her with much to do, really, but will stiil enjoy reading it :).