Lab Journal Entry #15

[matril]

"Fate"

Int., Tori’s bedroom. Now TORI is sitting at a desk, but still not back to her full strength.

TORI
I talked to Eli today. (Pause) He was beside himself with worry. Apparently he and Hannah have had a lot of concerned discussions about me. My dad too.

They want me to take a hiatus from work. I’m not fighting it. I would have done it without any prompting from them. (Shudders) My responsibility is outside of the laboratory now.

(Cut) Eli hasn’t been watching these videos, thank goodness. I’m not..I’m not ready to tell him everything yet. He figures they’re just lab reports, stuff he wouldn’t understand or get excited about. And I think he resents my work for ruining my health.

(Drearily) He doesn’t know the half of it.

(Knock at the door. Hannah enters, torso visible.)

HANNAH
Hi, Tori. I’m back.

TORI
(Attempting a smile) How was class?

HANNAH
(Sits down, facing TORI, unaware of camera) Oh, it was so much fun! We were talking about the varying views on fate and free will across cultures. Do you know how many stories contain protagonists whose very attempts to avoid their destiny cause that destiny to occur? (Beat) Sorry, I don’t want to bore you.

TORI
Don’t apologize. Philosophy would be a nice distraction right now.

HANNAH
All right, then! (Cut. Hannah is animatedly discussing her topic; TORI is watching fondly but sadly) And Oedipus really encapsulates the ancient Greek concept that it was folly to fight one’s own fate...

(Cut. Hannah continues; TORI is looking off in the distance) Whereas for Macbeth, the prophecy led him to mistakenly believe himself invincible..Tori? Come on, don’t be polite. I’m boring you, aren’t I?

TORI
No, no. It’s not that.

HANNAH
I’m sorry...

TORI
Please don’t. I’m really glad you’re here.

HANNAH
Yeah. Well (laughs) Me too. It took a while to get here. I tried it my parents’ way. Went to business school, got a practical, steady job..and I was bored out of my mind. When I decided to go back to school and study what I wanted to study – I don’t know, it was like I felt really alive for the first time in years. (Smiles at TORI) You’re lucky. You’ve always done what you loved. (TORI flinches) Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say something that –

TORI
It’s fine. You don’t know. (Swallows) I know you must be wondering what happened. And I appreciate that you haven’t been asking questions.

HANNAH
(Nodding, looking down) I figured when you were ready, you’d be ready.

TORI
Thanks.

HANNAH
(Squeezes her hand, then gets up) I’ll go make us something to eat. (She leaves.)

TORI
(Looks back at the camera) I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.