Sundry

[matril]

I managed to get into the Secret Agent contest again, this time with my manuscript for Other. Hooray! Except that I'm not sure if the first page has any particularly strong hook. My intent was to start off with a sort-of "once upon a time" feel, which I think is fine if you keep reading, but if all you have is the first page, I fear that it generates a "Yeah, so?" feeling. :P And my panicked brain sees that the post has been up for over an hour and no one has commented on it yet so I therefore stink and will never have any hope of getting published ever, forgetting that many of the posts that have been commented on have plenty of "No, not hooked, sorry." Sheesh.


So a friend on Facebook had this marvelous status: "No one should be frozen in carbonite, or be slowly digested for a thousand years in the bowels of a sarlaac, just because they couldn't pay Jabba the Hutt what they owe him. If you agree, post this as your status for the rest of the day." Of course I did so, only wishing that I had been the one to come up with it. Who knows who invented it? I love studying shared cultural things like urban legends that are passed along orally until no one knows their origins. The Internet has generated a whole new electronic medium for such things. Of course, without knowing their origins I find their credibility highly dubious. But something just plain funny like a SW spoof on that health care thingy? Yeah, I'll pass that along. :D

Luke is back in school, thank heaven, and enjoying himself immensely. He went with the regular 1st grade class to gym yesterday, which may be his first official mainstreaming activity. If he can do anything that other kids his age do, it's the physical stuff. Which is bewildering for me, the scrawny geek who dreaded gym class. Oh well.

I've started up a pretend school for Emma, which involves her sitting at the little plastic desk we have while I kneel at her little chalkboard easel and teach her basic arithmetic and simple logic games. As long as she's having fun and not drudging, it should be good. Ryan does his best to participate by scribbling on the chalkboard and trying to push Emma off the desk, but he means well. He's talking more! just a few words here and there, but it's definitely progress. His six-month evaluation by Early Intervention is coming at the end of the month (has he already been in EI for six months? Wow.) and we'll see if he still qualifies. I'm not sure what to hope for. I want him to keep getting help if he needs it, but I would love to hear "He's right back on schedule!" Sigh.

This weekend we had a total of four parties, quite overwhelming for us hermits. On Saturday, Luke's classmate had a party and Emma's friend from church had one directly afterward. On Monday our church had a Labor Day picnic, and directly after that we went to my husband's aunt's (aunt-in-law?) birthday party. The kids had a blast, and it was great to see Luke interacting with other kids with similar developmental issues. They had a pool and a trampoline, so Luke was in heaven. :) And the picnic was at a park with a very fun playground and the shore of a large pond, so even more excitement and thrills. I think my kids may be happy with a few dull weeks after so much heavy-duty fun packed into a single weekend.

Oh, and look, someone commented! Not entirely hooked, but that's fine. Any comments are better than silence. ;)

Comments

[robogock.livejournal.com]

I'm hooked; does that count? :)

Also, you now have a second comment from someone who's hooked. (And no, it's not from me.)

Good luck!

[matril.livejournal.com]

Everyone hooked is a potential book buyer, so yes. :)

[sonetka.livejournal.com]

I liked it but agreed with the commenters who said that the background bits could come later - I do think starting with "On the morning of the seventeenth day ..." would be great. (Just add where he's departing *to*, since the background isn't there). It's unfair, really - Kristin Lavransdatter kicks off with about 1500 words of family background - X married Y and they moved to Random Estate, where they had Z, who married A, and they had several children, among them Our Heroine. But since quick cuts and hooks become common in television, they seem to have become required in novels as well.

I was amused by the commenter who asked why it couldn't ever be three daughters. She *has* cracked a Grimm's at some point in her life, hasn't she? :)

[matril.livejournal.com]

It's especially amusing because it was three daughters, in this very same fairy tale, and then I switched the genders...to give the story a semi-feminist slant. At least, I noticed that our society is generally more severe toward ugliness in women than in men, and wanted to explore that. Or something. ;)

[sonetka.livejournal.com]

Have you ever read Robertson Davies' Deptford Trilogy? One of the key characters is a woman who is described as being very, very ugly - well beyond normal, and in a lot of ways her ugliness (and how she acquired it) is the key to her character. Apparently, though, when Davies was talking with someone who was trying to make a movie of it, it ended up getting nowhere because the writer/potential producers could not handle the idea of an incredibly ugly heroine. Davies didn't want them to pretty her up because it would have destroyed a lot of the books' meaning, so it never went anywhere. I regret that a little, but then again those would be really hard books to film anyway, so maybe the world was spared a crappy adaptation thanks to producing silliness.

[matril.livejournal.com]

I'm intrigued by the idea of that character, and not at all surprised that it wouldn't get made into a movie. Hollywood is merciless to ugly people.

[sonetka.livejournal.com]

I should be going to bed, but I checked the blog and just wanted to say congrats on your Secret Agent comment - I know it probably isn't enough to get a manuscript request, which sucks, but having an agent call your writing smooth and polished has to be a boost! (Well, it would be for me :)). I looked at a lot of the other opening paragraphs and while there were a lot that I liked, I thought yours was definitely one of the best in terms of sheer style.

Also, on a random note: What's up with all the dead and/or abusive fathers? Has Joss Whedon started trying to corner the YA market? (I must give Stephenie Meyer her due on this one: Bella's father is actually a sane, responsible human being whose reaction to "Daddy, I'm dating a vampire, but he's GOOD!" is a resounding WTF).

[matril.livejournal.com]

I am pleased by the complimenting half of the Secret Agent's comment...not as much by the "I'm bored" half, but it confirms what I've often suspected: My greater strength in writing is the nitty-gritty, scene-making element, rather than the overall storytelling aspect.

There was a bizarre prevalence of negative father figures - perhaps lots of writers with daddy issues? I should get points just for having an absent mother instead. :P

[robogock.livejournal.com]

It's interesting how there are definitely two camps of readers replying to the entry. One camp says "too much telling; I'm not hooked." The other camp says "I like how it's reading like a fairy tale; I'd keep reading."

[matril.livejournal.com]

A rather telling indication of the incredibly subjective nature of the publishing world. ;) On the one hand, I'm not going to have a book that everyone loves. On the other hand, just because one person rejects it doesn't mean someone else won't love it...