:)

[matril]

Thanks for everyone who commented on my last post. It's always good to have support and hugs, even if they're virtual. ;) I'm feeling happier now, if only because life goes on and really, I have a lot to be grateful for.


Padmé’s apartment

ANAKIN
So, the Jedi are pretty well evil, and – what’s wrong?

PADME
Have you ever thought we might be on the wrong side?

ANAKIN
Uh, no.

PADME
Like the Republic we’ve fought to protect no longer exists?

ANAKIN
Never crossed my mind, no. Why?

PADME
Oh, nothing. Just sort of thinking, you know...Palpatine might be...sort of...evil.

ANAKIN
Jeepers! Everyone keeps saying that – I don’t know where they could possibly be getting that idea. You’re talking like a Separatist.

PADME
And you’re talking like a paranoid delusional. Hey, I know! You’re closer to Palpatine than anyone else. Why don’t you –

ANAKIN
What? Spy on him? Is that what you want me to do? You and everyone else! Boy, do I have a sign on my back or something – “Spy for hire”?

PADME
Anakin, you’re rambling. Don’t shut me out. (He looks away) Hello? Hello in there, Ani! Anyone home? Remember Naboo? No worries, no war –

ANAKIN
Just a crazed Neimoidian sending out assassins to kill you.

PAMDE
Oh, yeah. Well, hold me anyway.

Coruscant Opera House
Anakin runs up the stairs, plowing into people, knocking them over. Unknowingly, he wears a sign on his back reading “Spy for hire.” A few people accost him, asking if he’s up to a little spying. He growls at them.

ANAKIN
You sent for me, Chancellor?

PALPATINE
Yes, I sent – that is – my sources have traced Grievous to Utapau.

ANAKIN
At last! We’ll be rid of that monster and can end this war.

MAUL
At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will –

PALPATINE
Quiet, fool! (Mutters) Dead people just never stay dead. So, Anakin, you think the mean old Jedi will send you? They really should, but seeing as how they’re evil...

ANAKIN
Yeah, what a bummer.

PALPATINE
They sent you to spy on me, didn’t they?

ANAKIN
Er...well...I...they...er...

PALPATINE
Stuttering problem? Anyway, like I said, they’re evil. The Sith, on the other hand –

ANAKIN
No, no, no. Sith bad, Jedi good. Stop confusing me.

PALPATINE
Ah, but what about Darth Plagueis?

ANAKIN
Darth Whosis?

PALPATINE
He was so cool! He made the midichlroians create life. (Looks at Anakin significantly) Also, he kept people from dying. (Looks at Anakin significantly)

ANAKIN
So he made life, he stopped death...I assume there must have been a horribly ironic ending to this guy’s life.

PALPATINE
Yeah, his apprentice killed him in his sleep and all that. (Looks at Anakin significantly) Wait, I didn’t mean to do that! Don’t you get any ideas, my soon-to-be-apprentice!

ANAKIN
Huh?

PALPATINE
That is, are you interested?

ANAKIN
Well, duh!

PALPATINE
Let’s keep in touch.


Council Chamber
MACE
Grievous is in Utapau, huh?

ANAKIN
Oh, can I go? Puleassse?

MACE
Well...

ANAKIN
Palpatine wants me to!

YODA
Then forget it you will. Flout Palpatine’s wishes, we must. And yours, too.

ANAKIN
Darn.

OBI-WAN
I can do it. I’m older now; see, I got my hair cut!

Jedi Temple Corridor
ANAKIN
You’re going to need me on this, Master.

OBI-WAN
(Rolls eyes) Yeah, I’m sure I’ll die without you. Hey, keep your nose clean, all right?

ANAKIN
Master, I’m sorry for – you know, being a jerk and all.

OBI-WAN
Really?

ANAKIN
No, I’m just kidding. I’m glad I did it! Glad! Hahaha!

OBI-WAN
Oh, well, you could have been worse.

ANAKIN
“Could have been worse”? Thanks a lot!

OBI-WAN
You’ve been a good apprentice, Anakin. And you’re a much wiser man than I am. I foresee you will become a great Jedi.

ANAKIN
Really?

OBI-WAN
Nah, I’m just stealing lines from Qui-Gon. Try not to turn evil, okay?

Padmé in pain and Obi-Wan, in dream
Padmé’s apartment

ANAKIN
Hey...Obi-Wan was here.

PADME
What, can you smell his aftershave or something?

ANAKIN
So he was here!

PADME
Yeah, he came by this morning. We were making out for a bit.

ANAKIN
What!?

PADME
Just kidding. He’s worried about you.

ANAKIN
Really?

PADME
No, I’m kidding again. He needed to borrow some eggs.

ANAKIN
And you gave him some?

PADME
Sure, why not? The worst he can do is make waffles.

ANAKIN
Arghhhh! Not waffles!

PADME
Obi-Wan was right – you are under a lot of stress.

ANAKIN
Well, you know, it’s kind of rough when you’re having nightmares of your wife dying and all...

PAMDE
Yeah, I guess.

ANAKIN
Something’s happening. I’m not the Jedi I should be.

PADME
Anakin...you didn’t go on another Sandpeople-massacring rampage, did you?

ANAKIN
Well, yeah, but that’s beside the point. I want more...and I know I shouldn’t.

PADME
More what?

ANAKIN
(Bowing his head) More hair! I’m so ashamed...Yoda’s balding...Mace has none at all...but I just can’t stop wanting to grow it longer and longer. Oh, also I want to stop you from dying.

PADME
I’m dying? That’s news to me!

ANAKIN
But you said you’d been dying a little each day since I came back into your life –

PADME
That was metaphor, you fool!

ANAKIN
Oops. Well, there’s still the whole dream thing.

PADAME
I’m not going to die. Well, I mean, eventually everybody dies, but –

ANAKIN
You’re never going to die. Never, never, never.

PADME
Anakin –

ANAKIN
(Puts his fingers in his ears and hums loudly) Never, never, never!

Comments

[lazypadawan.livejournal.com]

Obi-Wan had some great lines! Heh heh!