Breathe, part four
Sep. 14th, 2006 12:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrilBefore I post more of my fic, I just wanted to put down these words from a song in Children of Eden that (big surprise) made me think of Anakin:
There is no journey gone so far
So far we cannot stop and change direction
No doom is written in the stars
It's in our hands
We cannot know what will occur
Just make our journey worth the taking
And pray we're wiser than we were
In the beginning
...sigh...
Breathe, part four
They all looked up as he entered; Yoda, Mace, Obi-Wan – his old master wore a calm expression, looking as if he had been sitting comfortably in the chamber for this last hour rather than having just come in. More than one seat, Anakin noted, was entirely empty, not even carrying a hologram of an absent Council member.
The remaining members regarded him in silence for a moment. Anakin could feel each set of eyes of him, the measuring, scrutinizing looks that he experienced every time he had entered the Chamber since his first ordeal at age nine. All too often he had the feeling of coming up short.
Yoda addressed him at last. “Just returned from the Naboo system, have you?”
“Yes, Master,” Anakin murmured, holding his breath until the real questioning started.
“Back in order, the capital was?” Yoda asked. Anakin restrained a grimace. He had visited Theed briefly after leaving Padmé, and while restraining riots had been the last thing on his mind, he had noted that the violence was worse rather than better.
“I’m afraid not, Master Yoda,” he said carefully. “It may take more than one Jedi to quell the riots.”
“Mmm.” Yoda nodded. “We will consider this. Try your best, you did.”
For a moment, Anakin wondered if he was making a statement or a question. He refrained from any sort of reply and waited.
Now it was Mace Windu who spoke. “You have heard, I believe, of the resignation of the provisional Chancellor?” Anakin thought the Jedi Master’s gaze drifted slightly towards Obi-Wan before settling on Anakin.
“Yes.”
“It is a matter of great concern for us, as the peacekeepers of the Republic,” Mace said gravely. “There are conflicts arising – as you yourself saw on Naboo – within what remains of the Republic, all in addition to the war with the Separatists. And this has been complicated – complicated beyond measure – by the discovery of the former Chancellor’s secret connections.”
And now they had come to it. Anakin prepared himself for the barrage of questions, the thinly veiled accusations. Yoda began it. “Of Palpatine’s aides, how much did you know?”
“Nothing of this,” Anakin said firmly. “The Chancellor always seemed very open with me; he never spoke of – spies.”
Now Mace glanced directly at Obi-Wan, who shrugged. “Did he ever ask you about the Council – the workings of our meetings, or the nature of various missions?” Mace asked.
“No,” Anakin said, barely keeping back a scowl. Being accused of deliberate spying was insulting; it was even worse to be accused of ignorantly providing information. “I would not have given away secrets so foolishly, not even to my friend.”
Yoda humphed reprovingly. “Secrecy is the not the way of the Jedi. No secrets did you have, to keep or give.”
“I know,” Anakin muttered. It seemed there was no way to please the Council, no matter what he said.
“Of more concern is this,” Yoda went on. “Remember, do you, if the former Chancellor hoped you would influence Jedi in his favor?”
Slightly confused, Anakin asked, “Do you mean, if he tried to use me to make the Council follow his policies?” Yoda nodded, looking very grave, and again Anakin had to struggle to hold his temper at bay. “No. Certainly not. How could I possibly influence the Council, even if I wanted to? And I didn’t want to, nor was I asked to,” he added emphatically. “If both Palpatine and the Council were attempting to act in the best interest of the Republic, which I believe they were –” Palpatine, at any rate – “then I don’t see why the Chancellor would want to manipulate the Council.”
“Ah, the trusting nature of youth,” Yoda sighed. Anakin bit back a biting retort. He was little better than a child in their eyes. Responding angrily, however, would only confirm for them his childishness. “To interfere in the affairs of the Jedi, many desire this. For good as well as wrongful purposes.”
The questioning did not last too much longer than that, but it was an ordeal nonetheless. Repeatedly, Anakin was made to feel like a foolish child who had no idea of the wrongs he had unwittingly committed, or conversely like a willing traitor to everything the Jedi stood for. With tremendous difficulty he maintained a stoic expression and answered their interrogations in calm, measured tones. At last Yoda glanced at Mace, they exchanged nods, and Yoda pronounced, “Very well, young Skywalker. We will not speak further of this.”
Anakin released a breath and prepared to be dismissed. Instead, Mace leaned forward and said, “We know this has been unpleasant for you, but it was necessary given the circumstances – your friendship with the former Chancellor, and his unexpected – resources. However, it is clear enough that you have been thoroughly loyal to the Jedi Order.”
As well as loyal to Palpatine, Anakin thought stubbornly, but did not voice it. Why did they think the two were irreconcilable?
“Now that we know this,” Mace went on, “we can proceed to the main matter of business.”
Main matter? Bewildered, Anakin looked to Obi-Wan, who seemed as baffled as his old apprentice. Obviously he had been unaware of any purpose to Anakin’s summons beyond the questioning. “And what is that?” he said carefully.
“The war is going badly, as you have heard,” Mace said somberly. “In addition to the chaos engulfing the Senate, it seems that Palpatine’s death has led some clonetroopers to lose their sense of order. They refuse to obey their Jedi commanders; many of them give up their weapons and let themselves be killed. This disastrous turn of events has led to the death of several Jedi in battle, including some of our Council.” He nodded to Yoda. “Master Yoda himself has just returned from a brutal battle on Kashyyk, where he barely escaped with his life.”
Anakin’s stomach clenched as he looked again at the empty seats. It was horrible, of course, but where was Mace going with all of this?
The Jedi Master seemed oddly reluctant as he continued, “It is essential that we fill these seats as quickly as possible. Anakin. Your name has been put forward as a candidate.”
For a few moments, his words did not quite register. Then, in a rush of giddy astonishment, Anakin realized he was being offered a place on the Council. “Me?” he managed, his voice very faint. “A Master? On the Council?”
“Nothing has yet been decided,” Mace responded in a cautioning tone. “At your age, we would normally not even consider it. However, you have proven to be an exceptional Jedi from the very start. And, of course, we cannot afford to be as particular under the present circumstances.”
The backwards, reluctant praise could not dampen Anakin’s delight. “I understand, I understand,” he said quickly. “What must I do?”
“We have a number of candidates we are considering,” Mace explained. “The process of selection will at least a week, during which time we will monitor your behavior and question you strenuously. At the end of it, you will know whether you have been chosen.”
“I – I am honored just to be considered,” Anakin said, with complete sincerity.
Yoda smiled. “And well you should be.”
There is no journey gone so far
So far we cannot stop and change direction
No doom is written in the stars
It's in our hands
We cannot know what will occur
Just make our journey worth the taking
And pray we're wiser than we were
In the beginning
...sigh...
Breathe, part four
They all looked up as he entered; Yoda, Mace, Obi-Wan – his old master wore a calm expression, looking as if he had been sitting comfortably in the chamber for this last hour rather than having just come in. More than one seat, Anakin noted, was entirely empty, not even carrying a hologram of an absent Council member.
The remaining members regarded him in silence for a moment. Anakin could feel each set of eyes of him, the measuring, scrutinizing looks that he experienced every time he had entered the Chamber since his first ordeal at age nine. All too often he had the feeling of coming up short.
Yoda addressed him at last. “Just returned from the Naboo system, have you?”
“Yes, Master,” Anakin murmured, holding his breath until the real questioning started.
“Back in order, the capital was?” Yoda asked. Anakin restrained a grimace. He had visited Theed briefly after leaving Padmé, and while restraining riots had been the last thing on his mind, he had noted that the violence was worse rather than better.
“I’m afraid not, Master Yoda,” he said carefully. “It may take more than one Jedi to quell the riots.”
“Mmm.” Yoda nodded. “We will consider this. Try your best, you did.”
For a moment, Anakin wondered if he was making a statement or a question. He refrained from any sort of reply and waited.
Now it was Mace Windu who spoke. “You have heard, I believe, of the resignation of the provisional Chancellor?” Anakin thought the Jedi Master’s gaze drifted slightly towards Obi-Wan before settling on Anakin.
“Yes.”
“It is a matter of great concern for us, as the peacekeepers of the Republic,” Mace said gravely. “There are conflicts arising – as you yourself saw on Naboo – within what remains of the Republic, all in addition to the war with the Separatists. And this has been complicated – complicated beyond measure – by the discovery of the former Chancellor’s secret connections.”
And now they had come to it. Anakin prepared himself for the barrage of questions, the thinly veiled accusations. Yoda began it. “Of Palpatine’s aides, how much did you know?”
“Nothing of this,” Anakin said firmly. “The Chancellor always seemed very open with me; he never spoke of – spies.”
Now Mace glanced directly at Obi-Wan, who shrugged. “Did he ever ask you about the Council – the workings of our meetings, or the nature of various missions?” Mace asked.
“No,” Anakin said, barely keeping back a scowl. Being accused of deliberate spying was insulting; it was even worse to be accused of ignorantly providing information. “I would not have given away secrets so foolishly, not even to my friend.”
Yoda humphed reprovingly. “Secrecy is the not the way of the Jedi. No secrets did you have, to keep or give.”
“I know,” Anakin muttered. It seemed there was no way to please the Council, no matter what he said.
“Of more concern is this,” Yoda went on. “Remember, do you, if the former Chancellor hoped you would influence Jedi in his favor?”
Slightly confused, Anakin asked, “Do you mean, if he tried to use me to make the Council follow his policies?” Yoda nodded, looking very grave, and again Anakin had to struggle to hold his temper at bay. “No. Certainly not. How could I possibly influence the Council, even if I wanted to? And I didn’t want to, nor was I asked to,” he added emphatically. “If both Palpatine and the Council were attempting to act in the best interest of the Republic, which I believe they were –” Palpatine, at any rate – “then I don’t see why the Chancellor would want to manipulate the Council.”
“Ah, the trusting nature of youth,” Yoda sighed. Anakin bit back a biting retort. He was little better than a child in their eyes. Responding angrily, however, would only confirm for them his childishness. “To interfere in the affairs of the Jedi, many desire this. For good as well as wrongful purposes.”
The questioning did not last too much longer than that, but it was an ordeal nonetheless. Repeatedly, Anakin was made to feel like a foolish child who had no idea of the wrongs he had unwittingly committed, or conversely like a willing traitor to everything the Jedi stood for. With tremendous difficulty he maintained a stoic expression and answered their interrogations in calm, measured tones. At last Yoda glanced at Mace, they exchanged nods, and Yoda pronounced, “Very well, young Skywalker. We will not speak further of this.”
Anakin released a breath and prepared to be dismissed. Instead, Mace leaned forward and said, “We know this has been unpleasant for you, but it was necessary given the circumstances – your friendship with the former Chancellor, and his unexpected – resources. However, it is clear enough that you have been thoroughly loyal to the Jedi Order.”
As well as loyal to Palpatine, Anakin thought stubbornly, but did not voice it. Why did they think the two were irreconcilable?
“Now that we know this,” Mace went on, “we can proceed to the main matter of business.”
Main matter? Bewildered, Anakin looked to Obi-Wan, who seemed as baffled as his old apprentice. Obviously he had been unaware of any purpose to Anakin’s summons beyond the questioning. “And what is that?” he said carefully.
“The war is going badly, as you have heard,” Mace said somberly. “In addition to the chaos engulfing the Senate, it seems that Palpatine’s death has led some clonetroopers to lose their sense of order. They refuse to obey their Jedi commanders; many of them give up their weapons and let themselves be killed. This disastrous turn of events has led to the death of several Jedi in battle, including some of our Council.” He nodded to Yoda. “Master Yoda himself has just returned from a brutal battle on Kashyyk, where he barely escaped with his life.”
Anakin’s stomach clenched as he looked again at the empty seats. It was horrible, of course, but where was Mace going with all of this?
The Jedi Master seemed oddly reluctant as he continued, “It is essential that we fill these seats as quickly as possible. Anakin. Your name has been put forward as a candidate.”
For a few moments, his words did not quite register. Then, in a rush of giddy astonishment, Anakin realized he was being offered a place on the Council. “Me?” he managed, his voice very faint. “A Master? On the Council?”
“Nothing has yet been decided,” Mace responded in a cautioning tone. “At your age, we would normally not even consider it. However, you have proven to be an exceptional Jedi from the very start. And, of course, we cannot afford to be as particular under the present circumstances.”
The backwards, reluctant praise could not dampen Anakin’s delight. “I understand, I understand,” he said quickly. “What must I do?”
“We have a number of candidates we are considering,” Mace explained. “The process of selection will at least a week, during which time we will monitor your behavior and question you strenuously. At the end of it, you will know whether you have been chosen.”
“I – I am honored just to be considered,” Anakin said, with complete sincerity.
Yoda smiled. “And well you should be.”
