Lab Journal Entry #31

[matril]

"Necessity"

Int., Tori’s bedroom, ELI and TORI are sitting on the bed in miserable silence)

ELI
(After long pause) And you agreed to do it?

TORI
(Barely audible) I had to.

ELI
So...to right one wrong, you’re going to do another.

TORI
(Bursts out) Don’t you think I’ve already gone over all of this? I spent that entire week agonizing over it. I could hardly sleep or eat. I still can’t. (Deep breath) A hundred times at least I resolved not to comply. But it always came back to this – if I can prevent anyone else from suffering for my mistakes, I have to do it. It’s all I have left to do.

ELI
(Pause, then low voice) Two of them could be much worse.

TORI
I know. I know. When I think of its face – grinning in triumph – glad to cause pain (Shudders) I can hardly go through with it. But then I have to think of the beginning – when it was curious, and lonely and confused, looking for a friend. If that’s all it needs, that might be enough. (Turns to Eli, but he doesn’t answer) Because if that’s not enough – is there any hope at all?

ELI
I don’t know.

TORI
Eli –

ELI
What?

TORI
(Turns away) I’m sorry.

ELI
For what? What you’ve done? Or what you’re going to do?

TORI
Both. And for – (Shakes head) I’m surprised you haven’t already left. That you can stand to be around me.

ELI
Don’t do that. You don’t get to decide how I’m supposed to feel about this. Let me figure it out for myself.

TORI
Okay.

ELI
(Pause) How soon will it be ready?

TORI
In about a week.

ELI
Okay.

TORI
So...you think I should do it?

ELI
I don’t know. But that’s your decision, not mine. (Gets up, pauses) I’m not leaving you. It’s just that whatever future we had planned – it’s not there anymore. I don’t know what’s left. We’ll have to figure that out.

He goes. TORI watches him go, miserable. She gets up to turn off the camera. Then HANNAH shows up, and TORI turns.

HANNAH
(Very gingerly) Sorry, Tori. I was going to ring the doorbell, but Eli was on his way out. I...didn’t know he was back in town.

TORI
(Flatly) He just got back.

HANNAH
I see. (Long pause) You don’t have to tell me a thing, Tori. If you just need a hug, or a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.

TORI
(Nods tearfully and puts head on Hannah’s shoulder, muffled) Thanks.