Longing, part 1
Dec. 6th, 2006 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrilSo I started feeding my plot bunny, and this is the start of it. It's going to be largely introspective, a quiet story low on plot and heavy on internal dialogue. Maybe a bit ponderous...oh well. Here I go.
Longing
Part I
---
Padmé fastened the clasp on the last suitcase and slowly lifted it from the bed, surveying the room with a wistful smile. Holos of her family had hung on the walls; now they were packed away and only a few tapestries, permanent decorations of the palace, remained hanging. The bed was neatly made, though the sheets looked bare without the homemade quilt that had rested upon it for so many years. Padmé’s grandmother had given it to her when she ascended to her queenship. “You’ll find Theed much colder than home,” she had said. She was right.
Padmé was glad for the blanket and the other keepsakes like it that had made her room feel just a little bit like home. She had needed them during her first few nights in the palace. Days, she was occupied with committees and meetings and endless discussions with her advisors. Nights, however, her thoughts wandered back into childhood, and she would have been hopelessly homesick if not for the quilt she could pull comfortingly up to her chin, and the smiling faces of her parents and sister looking down on her from the holos.
“Padmé?”
She turned with a start. “Sabé! I thought you’d already gone.”
Sabé shrugged. “My transport seems to be running a little late.”
Padmé gave her room one last look, squared her shoulders, and began walking with Sabé down the grand corridor. “I’m glad to see you before you left. I never had time to give Rabé or Yané a proper farewell.”
Sabé sighed. “I know. Everything changed so fast, once your term ended.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not relieved,” Padmé replied, smiling slightly, “but there’s certainly plenty that I’ll miss.” She noted Sabé’s casual choice of clothing. “You’re going home, right?”
“Only for a visit.” Sabé fiddled with the handle of her bag. “The Sanvere family expects me within the week.”
Shaking her head in admiration, Padmé said, “You’ve certainly done well for yourself. Bodyguard for the Sanvere heir- it’s a highly coveted position.”
“It’s all thanks to your recommendation,” Sabé laughed. “They could hardly dispute the word of the queen.”
Padmé rolled her eyes. “Former queen. Besides, everything I said was true. I couldn’t have asked for a better bodyguard.” They reached the entrance, and she slowed down, looking seriously into Sabé’s face. “Or a better friend.”
Sabé’s smile turned wobbly. “I wish we all could have found work together somewhere. The six of us.”
“I know. But things change. People move on.” Padmé set down her suitcases. “I’ll miss you, Sabé.”
Sabé hugged her fiercely. “Go home and take a nice long break,” she said seriously. “You deserve it most of all.”
“I intend to,” Padmé said.
Sabé took up her bag and looked outside. “There’s my transport,” she noted. “Take care, Padmé.”
“What is it the Jedi say? ‘May the Force be with you.’” Padmé intoned in an exaggerated form of royal speech. Sabé’s peals of laughter accompanied her all the way to the transport, and she waved cheerily to Padmé before climbing aboard.
Alone again, Padmé sat down on the steps and pulled a datapad from her suitcase. Her transport was scheduled to arrive in another half hour. Time, perhaps, for a brief walk around the palace grounds. She left her suitcases on the stairs. Thievery wasn’t a huge problem in Theed; besides, she wasn’t carrying anything of monetary value. All her riches had been on loan from the palace. She had no regrets about leaving that behind.
The palace was lovely, though. She would miss the arching ceilings, the carved stone and marble. Just outside the throne room, Padmé paused to look out from the high window at the streets of Theed. Here she had stood as the Federation army began to swarm the plaza, teaching her for the first time what it meant to fear for the fate of an entire planet. She had experienced that feeling over and over again during those tense days of the War, but she would never forget that first acute horror. Like she was being hollowed out from the inside. She had feared for her people, and feared that she wouldn’t be able to save them. Feared that the responsibility of queenship had been too much for her, and she would be reviled throughout Naboo history as the queen who failed her people.
Walking thoughtfully into the throne room, Padmé reflected that she had found her solution by reaching out to others, by no longer attempting to do it all on her own. Strength in companionship. Jar Jar and the Gungans, the Jedi and the wisdom they could share. And dear little Ani. Practically speaking, it was his serendipitous flight into the battle in space that gained victory for the Naboo, but when Padmé thought of his contribution, she was more inclined to remember a subdued moment on the way to Coruscant, when he reminded her that she wasn’t the only one suffering from fear and pain. That moment somehow infused everything that she did afterwards with fresh resolve and courage.
Standing at the throne, Padmé ran her hand along its back, reliving years of tense debates and decisions reached after long, agonized deliberation. Jamilla would be arriving tomorrow to take her place. Padmé had already met with her, offering equal shares of encouragement and warnings. The new queen was older than Padmé had been upon ascending, but just as idealistic. She would do well for the Naboo. She also had a great respect for the Gungans, which was an enormous relief. If there was one thing Padmé had been concerned about while declaring her firm decision not to accept another term, it was that the hard-earned Naboo-Gungan alliance would fall to pieces as soon as she left Theed. Jamilla, however, would not allow that to happen.
All in all, Padmé felt that she could leave the palace without any serious regrets. She made her way back to the steps and picked up her suitcases just in time for the transport to arrive. She boarded it cheerfully, her thoughts set upon home.
Longing
Part I
---
Padmé fastened the clasp on the last suitcase and slowly lifted it from the bed, surveying the room with a wistful smile. Holos of her family had hung on the walls; now they were packed away and only a few tapestries, permanent decorations of the palace, remained hanging. The bed was neatly made, though the sheets looked bare without the homemade quilt that had rested upon it for so many years. Padmé’s grandmother had given it to her when she ascended to her queenship. “You’ll find Theed much colder than home,” she had said. She was right.
Padmé was glad for the blanket and the other keepsakes like it that had made her room feel just a little bit like home. She had needed them during her first few nights in the palace. Days, she was occupied with committees and meetings and endless discussions with her advisors. Nights, however, her thoughts wandered back into childhood, and she would have been hopelessly homesick if not for the quilt she could pull comfortingly up to her chin, and the smiling faces of her parents and sister looking down on her from the holos.
“Padmé?”
She turned with a start. “Sabé! I thought you’d already gone.”
Sabé shrugged. “My transport seems to be running a little late.”
Padmé gave her room one last look, squared her shoulders, and began walking with Sabé down the grand corridor. “I’m glad to see you before you left. I never had time to give Rabé or Yané a proper farewell.”
Sabé sighed. “I know. Everything changed so fast, once your term ended.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not relieved,” Padmé replied, smiling slightly, “but there’s certainly plenty that I’ll miss.” She noted Sabé’s casual choice of clothing. “You’re going home, right?”
“Only for a visit.” Sabé fiddled with the handle of her bag. “The Sanvere family expects me within the week.”
Shaking her head in admiration, Padmé said, “You’ve certainly done well for yourself. Bodyguard for the Sanvere heir- it’s a highly coveted position.”
“It’s all thanks to your recommendation,” Sabé laughed. “They could hardly dispute the word of the queen.”
Padmé rolled her eyes. “Former queen. Besides, everything I said was true. I couldn’t have asked for a better bodyguard.” They reached the entrance, and she slowed down, looking seriously into Sabé’s face. “Or a better friend.”
Sabé’s smile turned wobbly. “I wish we all could have found work together somewhere. The six of us.”
“I know. But things change. People move on.” Padmé set down her suitcases. “I’ll miss you, Sabé.”
Sabé hugged her fiercely. “Go home and take a nice long break,” she said seriously. “You deserve it most of all.”
“I intend to,” Padmé said.
Sabé took up her bag and looked outside. “There’s my transport,” she noted. “Take care, Padmé.”
“What is it the Jedi say? ‘May the Force be with you.’” Padmé intoned in an exaggerated form of royal speech. Sabé’s peals of laughter accompanied her all the way to the transport, and she waved cheerily to Padmé before climbing aboard.
Alone again, Padmé sat down on the steps and pulled a datapad from her suitcase. Her transport was scheduled to arrive in another half hour. Time, perhaps, for a brief walk around the palace grounds. She left her suitcases on the stairs. Thievery wasn’t a huge problem in Theed; besides, she wasn’t carrying anything of monetary value. All her riches had been on loan from the palace. She had no regrets about leaving that behind.
The palace was lovely, though. She would miss the arching ceilings, the carved stone and marble. Just outside the throne room, Padmé paused to look out from the high window at the streets of Theed. Here she had stood as the Federation army began to swarm the plaza, teaching her for the first time what it meant to fear for the fate of an entire planet. She had experienced that feeling over and over again during those tense days of the War, but she would never forget that first acute horror. Like she was being hollowed out from the inside. She had feared for her people, and feared that she wouldn’t be able to save them. Feared that the responsibility of queenship had been too much for her, and she would be reviled throughout Naboo history as the queen who failed her people.
Walking thoughtfully into the throne room, Padmé reflected that she had found her solution by reaching out to others, by no longer attempting to do it all on her own. Strength in companionship. Jar Jar and the Gungans, the Jedi and the wisdom they could share. And dear little Ani. Practically speaking, it was his serendipitous flight into the battle in space that gained victory for the Naboo, but when Padmé thought of his contribution, she was more inclined to remember a subdued moment on the way to Coruscant, when he reminded her that she wasn’t the only one suffering from fear and pain. That moment somehow infused everything that she did afterwards with fresh resolve and courage.
Standing at the throne, Padmé ran her hand along its back, reliving years of tense debates and decisions reached after long, agonized deliberation. Jamilla would be arriving tomorrow to take her place. Padmé had already met with her, offering equal shares of encouragement and warnings. The new queen was older than Padmé had been upon ascending, but just as idealistic. She would do well for the Naboo. She also had a great respect for the Gungans, which was an enormous relief. If there was one thing Padmé had been concerned about while declaring her firm decision not to accept another term, it was that the hard-earned Naboo-Gungan alliance would fall to pieces as soon as she left Theed. Jamilla, however, would not allow that to happen.
All in all, Padmé felt that she could leave the palace without any serious regrets. She made her way back to the steps and picked up her suitcases just in time for the transport to arrive. She boarded it cheerfully, her thoughts set upon home.
