matril: (Default)
matril ([personal profile] matril) wrote2012-09-14 11:52 am

And now it's time to play.....Who's the Creep and Who's Not! (Star Wars edition)

It's been a while, hasn't it? I've started a Wordpress page for my writer persona, and post writing-related stuff there in the hopes that if anyone (literary agents, theoretically) Googles my name, they'll find something better than my Facebook profile. So my brain's kind of been occupied with that, not to mention our move to a new house (hooray!) I spent the last few days making about a thousand phone calls to several school departments to figure out why Luke's records seemed to have disappeared and he wasn't getting all the services he needed. Blech, blech, blech.

Well, all that aside, I've had this idea for a post floating around my head for some time now, and though it's not strictly in the same category as other SAHF musings, it's still rather pertinent. Also, it's about my original and favorite fandom. What is appropriate behavior, and what is not, in the two romance stories from the Star Wars saga?


All right; here's my big old preface before I get to the specific discussion. Appropriate behaviors in the relationships between genders. I've had this difficult topic on my mind a lot lately, because one of my favorite new authors I follow is also a staunch advocate of protecting people from assault and providing them with support if they've already been assaulted. There's frequent discussions on his blog about the furor that arises whenever someone behaves inappropriately at fan conventions, the victim speaks out, and consequences follow. All too often there's victim-blaming, excuses made for appalling behavior, and greater concern about hurting the feelings of the accused rather than protecting the innocent. It's a big old mess.

We live in a peculiar culture. Judging from the average romantic comedy, a man who persists and persists in wooing his love against all her protests is swoon-worthy. In real life, most of his behaviors would fall firmly in the stalker category. But the romantic quality of the story, supposedly, comes from the assumption that the woman secretly does want him, and she just needs to be worn down or come out of denial or let go of her inhibitions or some such. Okay. But what if she genuinely doesn't want him? In real life, that's the case more often than not. Romance movies want to teach us otherwise, and if we buy into that, it can lead to misunderstandings, missed signals, aggressive unwanted advances, and straight-up assault. Just kind of sucks all the romance out of everything, doesn't it? Well....

I've always loved the Han and Leia relationship, really I have. Two intensely strong-willed people, drawn to each other but resisting it because they're used to being independent and not giving into anything. A couple that eventually forms a bond so strong, she descends into the depths, Orpheus-like, to rescue him from what is essentially death and brings him back to life. So strong, that he's willing to let her go off with the man he thinks she loves rather than selfishly keep her for himself.

However. There's just no way around it. Han's pursuit of Leia, objectively, bears all the signs of creepy stalkerism. Most of it occurs in Episode V, but let's briefly consider his behavior in Episode IV. He's basically a misogynist, insulting her in sexist terms (even though she's contributed as much if not more to their successful escape than he has.) Of course this was in the Shameful Seventies - I doubt such lines as "if we just avoid any more female advice" would be put in the mouth of a hero nowadays - but it's somewhat troubling, at least.

You could argue that Han outgrows some of his less than savory characteristics by the time he's spent a few years serving in the Rebellion. In Episode V, it does seem like some of his rougher edges have been smoothed. And you can't blame him too much for engaging in insult contests with Leia, because she dishes them out as readily as he does. Still, from the beginning of the movie he's making hints that she has feelings for him, and her responses are unequivocal. "I don't know what you're talking about." "You're imagining things." "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee." "I guess you don't know everything about women yet." Hmm. Does that mean "yes" or "no"? I just can't figure it out. :P

Of course we as the audience know better. We know, from the hundreds of romantic pairings we've seen, that the lady doth protest too much. We can practically see the tension sizzling between the two of them, right? Okay, very true. But that doesn't give Han the right to keep pressing her. If she says no, he has to take that at face value. He can argue that she's in denial, and that may be true, but if he wants to be decent he's going to have to find a different, non-aggressive way to woo her. Treat her well. Respect her vocal wishes, even if he suspects she's lying. Give her space, physically and emotionally.

Does this not sound nearly as romantic as what Han does instead? Sigh. That may be. We may have the notion ingrained in our minds that an aggressive, won't-take-no-for-an-answer kind of guy is the ideal lover. But in real life, he's not.

Han engages in unrequested physical contact and teases her. "We don't have time for anything else." "My hands are dirty too; what are you afraid of?" Let me be clear - these are the lines I repeated all the time after frequent rewatches of the trilogy, the swoon-worthy, roguish lines that fed my crush on Han Solo/Harrison Ford in earlier times. (Now I have a crush on Luke, which is far healthier, I assure you.) But I have to squirm when I realize how really inappropriate he was being. If Leia had not, in fact, reciprocated his feelings, he would have been in big trouble. I suppose after she responds favorably to that first kiss, things shift, and his behavior afterwards isn't particularly stalkery. But only because Leia, like most sharp-tongued female characters who resist the initial wooing, actually does want to get close and personal with Han. Change that one element, switch out the sweeping romantic John Williams score with something sinister, and you've got a stalker movie. Actually, you can do that with almost every romantic comedy. That's telling.

Let's contrast this with the other romance in Star Wars, the one that's been criticized for everything from wooden acting and lack of chemistry to, yes, stalker behavior on Anakin's part. Well, guess what? Next to Han, Anakin is a model gentleman. That's right. The heroic general could take lessons in wooing from the future Sith Lord.

Anakin's behavior toward Padmé bears no trace of abuse until the third film, when his corruption to the Dark Side leads to emotional and eventually physical assault. But their courtship has none of this. Let's have a look. When they first meet as adults, Anakin's crush is painfully obvious to pretty much everyone. He doesn't take too much trouble to hide it from Obi-Wan. "I'd rather dream of Padmé. Just being around her is...intoxicating." So he's not doing so well with that controlling his emotions thing the Jedi keep pestering him about. And yet he does, in fact, curb his impulses when he's around her. (Let's not also forget that he's been harboring this crush for ten years, but he hasn't been trying to meet her, sending her creepy letters, or any of the usual behaviors of stalkers. Both for her own personal space, and in adherence to Jedi regulations, he hasn't sought her out, but waited until he was assigned to be her bodyguard.)

In their first scene alone together, they both engage in a bit of emotional venting - Padmé, about being forced into hiding, and Anakin about the fact that he's advancing beyond his master's abilities. Having shared this sort of mutual frustration, Anakin ventures into a bit of flirtation. "Try not to grow up too fast," Padmé says, and he stands to his full height, gazing into her face. "But I am grown up." Is this a little too aggressive? You could argue that. But note Padmé's response, and more importantly Anakin's reaction. "Stop that. It makes me feel uncomfortable." Padmé, probably having suffered more than a few unwanted flirtations in her past, knows how to be direct and unequivocal. And Anakin responds, "Sorry, milady." One could say that the little smile on his face reveals he's not that sorry to find out he can get under Padmé's skin....but he backs off.

On the transport, they share another heartfelt conversation, and Anakin tentatively tries some more flirting. This one is more subtle, speaking more generally of a Jedi having a relationship, though no one could doubt his meaning. "You might say that we are encouraged to love." Padmé responds this time somewhat vaguely. "You've changed so much." Somewhat emboldened, Anakin replies "You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams." Whoops. He's gone too far, and Padmé doesn't even have to say anything. Her wary expression stops Anakin, and he backs off again.

Would Anakin's behavior be more acceptable if he backed off entirely? Maybe. But let's keep in mind that most of his mild-mannered flirting comes along after they've shared a friendly moment and she's responded encouragingly. She shows every sign of enjoying his company, and even when she doesn't respond favorably to his overtures, she doesn't tell him to get lost. Would it have been more romantic if she replied with snarky insults and he shot back a few of his own, and then they fell on each other in unrestrained passion? Not for me. I guess I have different tastes. :P

They have an interesting exchange in the capital, when they have a brief argument about who's in charge and who should make the decisions. Anakin, whose infamous anger problems will eventually contribute to his downfall, is actually able to swallow his irritation, nod and step back. Not a romantic context, but definitely a sign that he has self-control and a respect for Padmé's wishes. Following this I could mention the deleted scenes at Padmé's home, which I wish could have been included for the additional information they offer about Padmé's background, her family and her long-time devotion to helping others. There's also a few nudges in the direction of Anakin and Padmé's growing feelings for each other. But whether they can be considered canon or not, the next significant overture from Anakin happens with their first kiss. So let's move along there.

The dialogue in this scene is almost irrelevant. I know Anakin's lines have been much maligned (and usually mis-quoted) but the main point is, Padmé is reliving a happy time from her youth, one that is fraught with sensory pleasures, and Anakin is contrasting it with his own rough childhood, leading into his deep admiration for Naboo and, by extension, Padmé. It's not very eloquent, but who cares. Look at their body language. They're walking side by side, close but not touching, comfortable in their space. They stop, look out over the water, look at each other. Anakin's gaze deepens, as a sort of non-verbal question. Padmé responds similarly. Anakin ventures a light touch, and again she responds favorably. With every step forward toward the kiss, he makes an overture, waits and only moves ahead when she shows her approval. He doesn't push her up against a wall and pin her there; he gives her every opportunity to escape, to resist, to refuse to go further. I suppose he could have outright asked, "Is it all right if I kiss you?" but maybe that would have burst most people's romantic bubbles. (True story - that's what happened with my first kiss, and it was romantic, and I married him, dear Reader.)

Then Padmé has second thoughts. Totally understandable. She's been at war between her emotions and her logic for a while, and when she says, "No, I shouldn't have done that," Anakin steps back and apologizes, even though you couldn't quite blame him for getting mixed signals. He doesn't grin and say, "We don't have time for anything else" or "You're trembling; what are you afraid of?" Just says sorry and backs off.

At the picnic, their conversation indicates they're still on friendly terms. They have an intriguing exchange about politics, but mostly they laugh, they tease each other, and engage in some pretty intense physical contact (rolling around in a field, ahem) that they clearly both enjoy. At dinner, they share another friendly conversation, this one just a little more flirty. Once more emboldened, Anakin shows off his levitation skills and even acknowledges that he's breaking a few rules that Obi-Wan has set. Padmé laughs and accepts the fruit he's floated over to her, something that could be fraught with all sorts of symbolism about accepting the forbidden fruit. On a basic, more literal level, however, it's enough that she's accepting his offer of having a little fun, rules be darned. They've been dancing back and forth for a while, and if nothing else it would appear that she enjoys the dance, and she likes him as her partner.

But Anakin has grown tired of the dance. And it's the fireplace scene that probably ventures the closest to stalker territory; I fully acknowledge that. He lays his feelings bare, and he's a little brutal. "The kiss you never should have given me." Well, that wasn't a one-person deed, buddy. Fortunately, he doesn't really veer into blaming all his behavior on Padmé's irresistible allure. There's been a lot of talk about the dress Padmé is wearing in this scene and whether she was unconsciously or even fully consciously trying to send a message - but that's a little too close to the "what was she wearing when it happened?" line of questioning that happens to assault victims. Ugh. No thank you. Whatever Padmé's wearing, Anakin is still responsible for his own choices. And it's what happens after he's poured out his desperate, uncontrolled declaration that shows what choice he makes. Padmé says no. She even admits she has feelings, but she says no. He tries to suggest an alternative - "We could keep it a secret" - but she doesn't want that. And he accepts it. Unhappily, but he accepts it.

So how many romantic overtures does Anakin make after Padmé definitely says no? NONE. Even when he's emotionally raw, when his nightmares drive him to desperation and Padmé insists on coming along, when he gives into the darkest side of himself and sinks into self-hating misery in the aftermath, when Padmé comforts him and tells him he's still human - at no point during any of these interactions does Anakin hint at romantic feelings or desires. They even have a somewhat playful exchange when they go to rescue Obi-Wan, but he doesn't press her into anything beyond that. Padmé has set a boundary, and he does not cross it.

She crosses it instead, which it is within her right to do. Faced with death, she decides her objections don't matter and allows her emotions to guide her rather than logic. Is this a foolish choice? Does it ultimately lead to her death and Anakin's downfall? Those are really questions for another discussion. The point here is, Anakin's behavior does not constitute that of a stalker in any significant way, while Han's behavior does. And that's my mind-bending conclusion for the day.

[identity profile] sreya.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
I definitely agree that Anakin in AOTC is a near-perfect gentleman, and so innocent, too. To be honest, sometimes I feel like he doesn't really know how much fire he's playing with, though Padme certainly seems to have the idea of it. As far as the dress in the fireplace scene, no, it doesn't justify anything inappropriate, but it does seem to demonstrate PADME's internal conflict - which, of course, is what costuming is all about, telling us something about the character. As far as Anakin getting aggressive, well, they HAVE been dancing around the issue for some time. He may not do it well, but I think it's reasonable for him to lay it all out there and basically ask, "So what are we?"

Talking about Han, I don't know... after all, he was a character who was anything BUT a gentleman. And his sexist lines in ANH were a lot of that. He's uncouth, conceited, self-centered... and not exactly happy about what he'd been dragged into. On Hoth, he WAS going to walk away... actually, he DID walk away, and Leia ran after him. I've always had the sense that this wasn't anything new, that Han would start to pull away, and Leia would pull him back but always under the pretext of the Alliance's needs. His response seemed to be more focused on his frustration that she wouldn't do anything for herself, but always, always, always the alliance. I don't know, maybe I'm reading way into it.

Their first kiss... okay, yeah, that was pushing it. Although as we see when Threepio sticks his head in, she DID have an exit behind her, so it's not entirely cornering her. But there was definitely a "No" in her responses, no matter how she changed her mind later.

On the whole, I really, REALLY wish people would cut Anakin some slack. The "problem" is that he was COURTING and WOOING, two concepts that are nearly unheard of today. Between the two, I'd take AOTC Anakin over Han. But if the field widens up, Luke is head and shoulders over the rest. (And Mara doesn't deserve him! Darnit!)

By the by, my first kiss also started with a question asking my permission. It was short and sweet, and enough to send my 16-year old heart soaring. Too bad things didn't work from there on out...

[identity profile] matril.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 12:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I think if we allow ourselves to assume that Leia is in denial and really has been sending mixed signals, Han's behavior isn't as condemnable. (I still cringe at the implicit notion of "no really means yes", though.) But I have to think that if Anakin had behaved like that, everyone would have interpreted it very differently just because we know what he becomes. I mean, look how many people criticized his behavior and called it stalkery as it is. The double standard bugs me.

Mara who? ;)

[identity profile] sreya.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I've also seen a LOT of good fanfics that are set between New Hope and Empire that play with the idea that Han & Leia shared an earlier moment to set the stage. Actually, now that I come to think about it, even before AOTC a lot of them would have something similar to Anakin & Padme's kiss on the lake, basically something to demonstrate they both care for each other, then Leia or both panic and back out. *shrug*

Double standard? About Anakin? What trickery do you speak of?! ;)

[identity profile] matril.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Fan fiction can work wonders for filling in plotholes and character inconsistencies. ;)

[identity profile] lazypadawan.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
Han's whole schtick is that he is a rough character, politically incorrect, snarky, a criminal, and all-around a bad boy though not that bad. My impression from the dialogue in TESB was that something had been brewing between Han and Leia for some time but Leia for whatever reason wasn't giving into it and that was annoying Han. So he reacts the only way he knows how, by being snarky and tossing off PG-rated sexually-charged jibes. I've always thought if Leia really objected, Han would have been singing soprano or ended up with a smoking hole in his forehead. But while their first kiss is one of my favorite scenes, he is being aggressive in getting Leia to respond physically. He gets in her space and kisses her. It's not like Luke raping Laura on the dance floor on "General Hospital." I think they were careful in making sure it's clear Leia's protestations were insincere and she really did want to be kissed.

Anakin's behavior toward Padmé is far more respectful. I think it reflects the formal way he was raised among the Jedi and it reflects that he has Padmé up on a pedestal. He tries to flirt with her in his inexperienced way but when she rebuffs him, he backs off until she signals him again.

My issue is with people who find Anakin's behavior toward Padmé in AOTC as wrong or bad but think Han's cool or that his relationship with Leia is mature in TESB. Mature? If you ask me, it's even more immature for a woman in her 20s and a man in his 30s to behave the way they do than the gentle courtly behavior exhibited between Anakin and Padmé. Han and Leia do mature in ROTJ but critics don't find them as much fun when they are grown up.

[identity profile] matril.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
From Leia's non-verbal responses, it's clear that she doesn't object nearly as much as she says she does. So their romance scenes definitely don't come across as rape-y. I do love their romance; I always have. I think it's just indicative of a more general trend in films to portray an aggressive, cocky guy as the ideal wooer. And I feel that, while in Leia's case she could have made her point brutally clear if she honestly hadn't been interested, in real life it shouldn't be necessary to enact violence upon a guy to fend off unwanted advances (especially since it could lead to her getting charged for assault!). It should be enough to say "no." But yeah, if Han isn't that bad, than how in the world can people criticize Anakin's behavior? It's hypocritical.

I like Han and Leia best in ROTJ! They're far more mature and giving. They're honest with each other; no more playing games. I've seen the complaint time and time again that couples are boring after they've gotten together past the will-they won't-they stage. And I think that's balderdash. If they get boring, that's just because the writers have gotten lazy. An established couple can be just as compelling, if not more so, than a courting couple.

[identity profile] krpalmer.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not completely certain I'm qualified to comment on this issue (which is why I dallied to respond and there are now two comments ahead of me), but as I was reading this and sort of nodding along with your comments with the sense I've seen them formed before, I was thinking the courtship of the new movies is simply being interpreted by people who start from an attitude of general hostility towards everything in them. That just might lead to a sort of shrugging "well, what are we going to do?" frustration, though...

[identity profile] matril.livejournal.com 2012-09-15 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, there are far too many people who go into any discussion of the prequels with the assumption that everything stinks and there's no redeeming qualities. How do you argue with that? They see Han through the lens of "everything he does is awesome" and Anakin through the lens of "whiny brat." It's hard to have a rational argument with those unyielding parameters in place.

[identity profile] sonetka.livejournal.com 2012-09-22 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
I like your analysis a lot, although it's not going to persuade me that the acting is better in the prequels :). But of course how a scene is acted doesn't determine all of its content. I think a lot of the difference may also lie in what seems more remote to the people who are watching the movie. The seventies had a feminist movement which was very aggressive (in some ways, I think, it needed to be) but it also saw an explosion in the sorts of romances which were all Strong Aggressive Man Takes Woman Who Secretly Wants Him -- I think Sweet Savage Love came out in the mid-seventies, and it had a ton of imitators. I suppose you could call it a reaction; a lot of people who were campaigning for, say, being able to get credit in their own names and being allowed maternity leave etc. still enjoyed going off into Forbidden Fantasyland when they were relaxing, and of course that sort of thing was what you weren't *supposed* to want, which made the story that much more titillating since there was a little guilt there. The last prequel came out in, I think, 2005, and what's fashionable and taboo had changed a lot since then. It's generally considered OK and encouraged for both sexes to be aggressive in courting each other -- I don't mean to the Han Solo shoving-Leia-to-the-wall level, but fairly open and direct (and fast! I still boggle when I hear people say things like no sex by the fourth date is a deal-killer). Being inexperienced is in some ways the new taboo -- look at the giggles anyone gets who admits to being a virgin after about the age of 20. But people also find that sort of restraint/inexperience to be interesting. I realize Lucas wasn't deliberately thinking "OK, what sort of ideas about romance are prevalent today? Now, what's the opposite of that?" But I think that these things may have influenced his choices nonetheless. People go to the theater and read romances to see the things they *don't* know.

[identity profile] matril.livejournal.com 2012-09-22 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
It's true; you definitely can't ignore the cultural context of the time when each movie came out. It's my understanding that there was a popular subset of actual rape fantasy, wherein the woman is absolved from the "sin" of seeking sexual activity while being allowed to enjoy it. (Can't be much fun for actual rape victims to come across that sort of stuff.) That fantasy has shifted as it's become more acceptable for a woman to be openly sexual, but I doubt it's really a step forward so much as a lateral step. No matter what era you're looking at, you're going to find some pretty whacked-out views about the relationships between men and women.