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And now it's time to play.....Who's the Creep and Who's Not! (Star Wars edition)
It's been a while, hasn't it? I've started a Wordpress page for my writer persona, and post writing-related stuff there in the hopes that if anyone (literary agents, theoretically) Googles my name, they'll find something better than my Facebook profile. So my brain's kind of been occupied with that, not to mention our move to a new house (hooray!) I spent the last few days making about a thousand phone calls to several school departments to figure out why Luke's records seemed to have disappeared and he wasn't getting all the services he needed. Blech, blech, blech.
Well, all that aside, I've had this idea for a post floating around my head for some time now, and though it's not strictly in the same category as other SAHF musings, it's still rather pertinent. Also, it's about my original and favorite fandom. What is appropriate behavior, and what is not, in the two romance stories from the Star Wars saga?
All right; here's my big old preface before I get to the specific discussion. Appropriate behaviors in the relationships between genders. I've had this difficult topic on my mind a lot lately, because one of my favorite new authors I follow is also a staunch advocate of protecting people from assault and providing them with support if they've already been assaulted. There's frequent discussions on his blog about the furor that arises whenever someone behaves inappropriately at fan conventions, the victim speaks out, and consequences follow. All too often there's victim-blaming, excuses made for appalling behavior, and greater concern about hurting the feelings of the accused rather than protecting the innocent. It's a big old mess.
We live in a peculiar culture. Judging from the average romantic comedy, a man who persists and persists in wooing his love against all her protests is swoon-worthy. In real life, most of his behaviors would fall firmly in the stalker category. But the romantic quality of the story, supposedly, comes from the assumption that the woman secretly does want him, and she just needs to be worn down or come out of denial or let go of her inhibitions or some such. Okay. But what if she genuinely doesn't want him? In real life, that's the case more often than not. Romance movies want to teach us otherwise, and if we buy into that, it can lead to misunderstandings, missed signals, aggressive unwanted advances, and straight-up assault. Just kind of sucks all the romance out of everything, doesn't it? Well....
I've always loved the Han and Leia relationship, really I have. Two intensely strong-willed people, drawn to each other but resisting it because they're used to being independent and not giving into anything. A couple that eventually forms a bond so strong, she descends into the depths, Orpheus-like, to rescue him from what is essentially death and brings him back to life. So strong, that he's willing to let her go off with the man he thinks she loves rather than selfishly keep her for himself.
However. There's just no way around it. Han's pursuit of Leia, objectively, bears all the signs of creepy stalkerism. Most of it occurs in Episode V, but let's briefly consider his behavior in Episode IV. He's basically a misogynist, insulting her in sexist terms (even though she's contributed as much if not more to their successful escape than he has.) Of course this was in the Shameful Seventies - I doubt such lines as "if we just avoid any more female advice" would be put in the mouth of a hero nowadays - but it's somewhat troubling, at least.
You could argue that Han outgrows some of his less than savory characteristics by the time he's spent a few years serving in the Rebellion. In Episode V, it does seem like some of his rougher edges have been smoothed. And you can't blame him too much for engaging in insult contests with Leia, because she dishes them out as readily as he does. Still, from the beginning of the movie he's making hints that she has feelings for him, and her responses are unequivocal. "I don't know what you're talking about." "You're imagining things." "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee." "I guess you don't know everything about women yet." Hmm. Does that mean "yes" or "no"? I just can't figure it out. :P
Of course we as the audience know better. We know, from the hundreds of romantic pairings we've seen, that the lady doth protest too much. We can practically see the tension sizzling between the two of them, right? Okay, very true. But that doesn't give Han the right to keep pressing her. If she says no, he has to take that at face value. He can argue that she's in denial, and that may be true, but if he wants to be decent he's going to have to find a different, non-aggressive way to woo her. Treat her well. Respect her vocal wishes, even if he suspects she's lying. Give her space, physically and emotionally.
Does this not sound nearly as romantic as what Han does instead? Sigh. That may be. We may have the notion ingrained in our minds that an aggressive, won't-take-no-for-an-answer kind of guy is the ideal lover. But in real life, he's not.
Han engages in unrequested physical contact and teases her. "We don't have time for anything else." "My hands are dirty too; what are you afraid of?" Let me be clear - these are the lines I repeated all the time after frequent rewatches of the trilogy, the swoon-worthy, roguish lines that fed my crush on Han Solo/Harrison Ford in earlier times. (Now I have a crush on Luke, which is far healthier, I assure you.) But I have to squirm when I realize how really inappropriate he was being. If Leia had not, in fact, reciprocated his feelings, he would have been in big trouble. I suppose after she responds favorably to that first kiss, things shift, and his behavior afterwards isn't particularly stalkery. But only because Leia, like most sharp-tongued female characters who resist the initial wooing, actually does want to get close and personal with Han. Change that one element, switch out the sweeping romantic John Williams score with something sinister, and you've got a stalker movie. Actually, you can do that with almost every romantic comedy. That's telling.
Let's contrast this with the other romance in Star Wars, the one that's been criticized for everything from wooden acting and lack of chemistry to, yes, stalker behavior on Anakin's part. Well, guess what? Next to Han, Anakin is a model gentleman. That's right. The heroic general could take lessons in wooing from the future Sith Lord.
Anakin's behavior toward Padmé bears no trace of abuse until the third film, when his corruption to the Dark Side leads to emotional and eventually physical assault. But their courtship has none of this. Let's have a look. When they first meet as adults, Anakin's crush is painfully obvious to pretty much everyone. He doesn't take too much trouble to hide it from Obi-Wan. "I'd rather dream of Padmé. Just being around her is...intoxicating." So he's not doing so well with that controlling his emotions thing the Jedi keep pestering him about. And yet he does, in fact, curb his impulses when he's around her. (Let's not also forget that he's been harboring this crush for ten years, but he hasn't been trying to meet her, sending her creepy letters, or any of the usual behaviors of stalkers. Both for her own personal space, and in adherence to Jedi regulations, he hasn't sought her out, but waited until he was assigned to be her bodyguard.)
In their first scene alone together, they both engage in a bit of emotional venting - Padmé, about being forced into hiding, and Anakin about the fact that he's advancing beyond his master's abilities. Having shared this sort of mutual frustration, Anakin ventures into a bit of flirtation. "Try not to grow up too fast," Padmé says, and he stands to his full height, gazing into her face. "But I am grown up." Is this a little too aggressive? You could argue that. But note Padmé's response, and more importantly Anakin's reaction. "Stop that. It makes me feel uncomfortable." Padmé, probably having suffered more than a few unwanted flirtations in her past, knows how to be direct and unequivocal. And Anakin responds, "Sorry, milady." One could say that the little smile on his face reveals he's not that sorry to find out he can get under Padmé's skin....but he backs off.
On the transport, they share another heartfelt conversation, and Anakin tentatively tries some more flirting. This one is more subtle, speaking more generally of a Jedi having a relationship, though no one could doubt his meaning. "You might say that we are encouraged to love." Padmé responds this time somewhat vaguely. "You've changed so much." Somewhat emboldened, Anakin replies "You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams." Whoops. He's gone too far, and Padmé doesn't even have to say anything. Her wary expression stops Anakin, and he backs off again.
Would Anakin's behavior be more acceptable if he backed off entirely? Maybe. But let's keep in mind that most of his mild-mannered flirting comes along after they've shared a friendly moment and she's responded encouragingly. She shows every sign of enjoying his company, and even when she doesn't respond favorably to his overtures, she doesn't tell him to get lost. Would it have been more romantic if she replied with snarky insults and he shot back a few of his own, and then they fell on each other in unrestrained passion? Not for me. I guess I have different tastes. :P
They have an interesting exchange in the capital, when they have a brief argument about who's in charge and who should make the decisions. Anakin, whose infamous anger problems will eventually contribute to his downfall, is actually able to swallow his irritation, nod and step back. Not a romantic context, but definitely a sign that he has self-control and a respect for Padmé's wishes. Following this I could mention the deleted scenes at Padmé's home, which I wish could have been included for the additional information they offer about Padmé's background, her family and her long-time devotion to helping others. There's also a few nudges in the direction of Anakin and Padmé's growing feelings for each other. But whether they can be considered canon or not, the next significant overture from Anakin happens with their first kiss. So let's move along there.
The dialogue in this scene is almost irrelevant. I know Anakin's lines have been much maligned (and usually mis-quoted) but the main point is, Padmé is reliving a happy time from her youth, one that is fraught with sensory pleasures, and Anakin is contrasting it with his own rough childhood, leading into his deep admiration for Naboo and, by extension, Padmé. It's not very eloquent, but who cares. Look at their body language. They're walking side by side, close but not touching, comfortable in their space. They stop, look out over the water, look at each other. Anakin's gaze deepens, as a sort of non-verbal question. Padmé responds similarly. Anakin ventures a light touch, and again she responds favorably. With every step forward toward the kiss, he makes an overture, waits and only moves ahead when she shows her approval. He doesn't push her up against a wall and pin her there; he gives her every opportunity to escape, to resist, to refuse to go further. I suppose he could have outright asked, "Is it all right if I kiss you?" but maybe that would have burst most people's romantic bubbles. (True story - that's what happened with my first kiss, and it was romantic, and I married him, dear Reader.)
Then Padmé has second thoughts. Totally understandable. She's been at war between her emotions and her logic for a while, and when she says, "No, I shouldn't have done that," Anakin steps back and apologizes, even though you couldn't quite blame him for getting mixed signals. He doesn't grin and say, "We don't have time for anything else" or "You're trembling; what are you afraid of?" Just says sorry and backs off.
At the picnic, their conversation indicates they're still on friendly terms. They have an intriguing exchange about politics, but mostly they laugh, they tease each other, and engage in some pretty intense physical contact (rolling around in a field, ahem) that they clearly both enjoy. At dinner, they share another friendly conversation, this one just a little more flirty. Once more emboldened, Anakin shows off his levitation skills and even acknowledges that he's breaking a few rules that Obi-Wan has set. Padmé laughs and accepts the fruit he's floated over to her, something that could be fraught with all sorts of symbolism about accepting the forbidden fruit. On a basic, more literal level, however, it's enough that she's accepting his offer of having a little fun, rules be darned. They've been dancing back and forth for a while, and if nothing else it would appear that she enjoys the dance, and she likes him as her partner.
But Anakin has grown tired of the dance. And it's the fireplace scene that probably ventures the closest to stalker territory; I fully acknowledge that. He lays his feelings bare, and he's a little brutal. "The kiss you never should have given me." Well, that wasn't a one-person deed, buddy. Fortunately, he doesn't really veer into blaming all his behavior on Padmé's irresistible allure. There's been a lot of talk about the dress Padmé is wearing in this scene and whether she was unconsciously or even fully consciously trying to send a message - but that's a little too close to the "what was she wearing when it happened?" line of questioning that happens to assault victims. Ugh. No thank you. Whatever Padmé's wearing, Anakin is still responsible for his own choices. And it's what happens after he's poured out his desperate, uncontrolled declaration that shows what choice he makes. Padmé says no. She even admits she has feelings, but she says no. He tries to suggest an alternative - "We could keep it a secret" - but she doesn't want that. And he accepts it. Unhappily, but he accepts it.
So how many romantic overtures does Anakin make after Padmé definitely says no? NONE. Even when he's emotionally raw, when his nightmares drive him to desperation and Padmé insists on coming along, when he gives into the darkest side of himself and sinks into self-hating misery in the aftermath, when Padmé comforts him and tells him he's still human - at no point during any of these interactions does Anakin hint at romantic feelings or desires. They even have a somewhat playful exchange when they go to rescue Obi-Wan, but he doesn't press her into anything beyond that. Padmé has set a boundary, and he does not cross it.
She crosses it instead, which it is within her right to do. Faced with death, she decides her objections don't matter and allows her emotions to guide her rather than logic. Is this a foolish choice? Does it ultimately lead to her death and Anakin's downfall? Those are really questions for another discussion. The point here is, Anakin's behavior does not constitute that of a stalker in any significant way, while Han's behavior does. And that's my mind-bending conclusion for the day.
Well, all that aside, I've had this idea for a post floating around my head for some time now, and though it's not strictly in the same category as other SAHF musings, it's still rather pertinent. Also, it's about my original and favorite fandom. What is appropriate behavior, and what is not, in the two romance stories from the Star Wars saga?
All right; here's my big old preface before I get to the specific discussion. Appropriate behaviors in the relationships between genders. I've had this difficult topic on my mind a lot lately, because one of my favorite new authors I follow is also a staunch advocate of protecting people from assault and providing them with support if they've already been assaulted. There's frequent discussions on his blog about the furor that arises whenever someone behaves inappropriately at fan conventions, the victim speaks out, and consequences follow. All too often there's victim-blaming, excuses made for appalling behavior, and greater concern about hurting the feelings of the accused rather than protecting the innocent. It's a big old mess.
We live in a peculiar culture. Judging from the average romantic comedy, a man who persists and persists in wooing his love against all her protests is swoon-worthy. In real life, most of his behaviors would fall firmly in the stalker category. But the romantic quality of the story, supposedly, comes from the assumption that the woman secretly does want him, and she just needs to be worn down or come out of denial or let go of her inhibitions or some such. Okay. But what if she genuinely doesn't want him? In real life, that's the case more often than not. Romance movies want to teach us otherwise, and if we buy into that, it can lead to misunderstandings, missed signals, aggressive unwanted advances, and straight-up assault. Just kind of sucks all the romance out of everything, doesn't it? Well....
I've always loved the Han and Leia relationship, really I have. Two intensely strong-willed people, drawn to each other but resisting it because they're used to being independent and not giving into anything. A couple that eventually forms a bond so strong, she descends into the depths, Orpheus-like, to rescue him from what is essentially death and brings him back to life. So strong, that he's willing to let her go off with the man he thinks she loves rather than selfishly keep her for himself.
However. There's just no way around it. Han's pursuit of Leia, objectively, bears all the signs of creepy stalkerism. Most of it occurs in Episode V, but let's briefly consider his behavior in Episode IV. He's basically a misogynist, insulting her in sexist terms (even though she's contributed as much if not more to their successful escape than he has.) Of course this was in the Shameful Seventies - I doubt such lines as "if we just avoid any more female advice" would be put in the mouth of a hero nowadays - but it's somewhat troubling, at least.
You could argue that Han outgrows some of his less than savory characteristics by the time he's spent a few years serving in the Rebellion. In Episode V, it does seem like some of his rougher edges have been smoothed. And you can't blame him too much for engaging in insult contests with Leia, because she dishes them out as readily as he does. Still, from the beginning of the movie he's making hints that she has feelings for him, and her responses are unequivocal. "I don't know what you're talking about." "You're imagining things." "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee." "I guess you don't know everything about women yet." Hmm. Does that mean "yes" or "no"? I just can't figure it out. :P
Of course we as the audience know better. We know, from the hundreds of romantic pairings we've seen, that the lady doth protest too much. We can practically see the tension sizzling between the two of them, right? Okay, very true. But that doesn't give Han the right to keep pressing her. If she says no, he has to take that at face value. He can argue that she's in denial, and that may be true, but if he wants to be decent he's going to have to find a different, non-aggressive way to woo her. Treat her well. Respect her vocal wishes, even if he suspects she's lying. Give her space, physically and emotionally.
Does this not sound nearly as romantic as what Han does instead? Sigh. That may be. We may have the notion ingrained in our minds that an aggressive, won't-take-no-for-an-answer kind of guy is the ideal lover. But in real life, he's not.
Han engages in unrequested physical contact and teases her. "We don't have time for anything else." "My hands are dirty too; what are you afraid of?" Let me be clear - these are the lines I repeated all the time after frequent rewatches of the trilogy, the swoon-worthy, roguish lines that fed my crush on Han Solo/Harrison Ford in earlier times. (Now I have a crush on Luke, which is far healthier, I assure you.) But I have to squirm when I realize how really inappropriate he was being. If Leia had not, in fact, reciprocated his feelings, he would have been in big trouble. I suppose after she responds favorably to that first kiss, things shift, and his behavior afterwards isn't particularly stalkery. But only because Leia, like most sharp-tongued female characters who resist the initial wooing, actually does want to get close and personal with Han. Change that one element, switch out the sweeping romantic John Williams score with something sinister, and you've got a stalker movie. Actually, you can do that with almost every romantic comedy. That's telling.
Let's contrast this with the other romance in Star Wars, the one that's been criticized for everything from wooden acting and lack of chemistry to, yes, stalker behavior on Anakin's part. Well, guess what? Next to Han, Anakin is a model gentleman. That's right. The heroic general could take lessons in wooing from the future Sith Lord.
Anakin's behavior toward Padmé bears no trace of abuse until the third film, when his corruption to the Dark Side leads to emotional and eventually physical assault. But their courtship has none of this. Let's have a look. When they first meet as adults, Anakin's crush is painfully obvious to pretty much everyone. He doesn't take too much trouble to hide it from Obi-Wan. "I'd rather dream of Padmé. Just being around her is...intoxicating." So he's not doing so well with that controlling his emotions thing the Jedi keep pestering him about. And yet he does, in fact, curb his impulses when he's around her. (Let's not also forget that he's been harboring this crush for ten years, but he hasn't been trying to meet her, sending her creepy letters, or any of the usual behaviors of stalkers. Both for her own personal space, and in adherence to Jedi regulations, he hasn't sought her out, but waited until he was assigned to be her bodyguard.)
In their first scene alone together, they both engage in a bit of emotional venting - Padmé, about being forced into hiding, and Anakin about the fact that he's advancing beyond his master's abilities. Having shared this sort of mutual frustration, Anakin ventures into a bit of flirtation. "Try not to grow up too fast," Padmé says, and he stands to his full height, gazing into her face. "But I am grown up." Is this a little too aggressive? You could argue that. But note Padmé's response, and more importantly Anakin's reaction. "Stop that. It makes me feel uncomfortable." Padmé, probably having suffered more than a few unwanted flirtations in her past, knows how to be direct and unequivocal. And Anakin responds, "Sorry, milady." One could say that the little smile on his face reveals he's not that sorry to find out he can get under Padmé's skin....but he backs off.
On the transport, they share another heartfelt conversation, and Anakin tentatively tries some more flirting. This one is more subtle, speaking more generally of a Jedi having a relationship, though no one could doubt his meaning. "You might say that we are encouraged to love." Padmé responds this time somewhat vaguely. "You've changed so much." Somewhat emboldened, Anakin replies "You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams." Whoops. He's gone too far, and Padmé doesn't even have to say anything. Her wary expression stops Anakin, and he backs off again.
Would Anakin's behavior be more acceptable if he backed off entirely? Maybe. But let's keep in mind that most of his mild-mannered flirting comes along after they've shared a friendly moment and she's responded encouragingly. She shows every sign of enjoying his company, and even when she doesn't respond favorably to his overtures, she doesn't tell him to get lost. Would it have been more romantic if she replied with snarky insults and he shot back a few of his own, and then they fell on each other in unrestrained passion? Not for me. I guess I have different tastes. :P
They have an interesting exchange in the capital, when they have a brief argument about who's in charge and who should make the decisions. Anakin, whose infamous anger problems will eventually contribute to his downfall, is actually able to swallow his irritation, nod and step back. Not a romantic context, but definitely a sign that he has self-control and a respect for Padmé's wishes. Following this I could mention the deleted scenes at Padmé's home, which I wish could have been included for the additional information they offer about Padmé's background, her family and her long-time devotion to helping others. There's also a few nudges in the direction of Anakin and Padmé's growing feelings for each other. But whether they can be considered canon or not, the next significant overture from Anakin happens with their first kiss. So let's move along there.
The dialogue in this scene is almost irrelevant. I know Anakin's lines have been much maligned (and usually mis-quoted) but the main point is, Padmé is reliving a happy time from her youth, one that is fraught with sensory pleasures, and Anakin is contrasting it with his own rough childhood, leading into his deep admiration for Naboo and, by extension, Padmé. It's not very eloquent, but who cares. Look at their body language. They're walking side by side, close but not touching, comfortable in their space. They stop, look out over the water, look at each other. Anakin's gaze deepens, as a sort of non-verbal question. Padmé responds similarly. Anakin ventures a light touch, and again she responds favorably. With every step forward toward the kiss, he makes an overture, waits and only moves ahead when she shows her approval. He doesn't push her up against a wall and pin her there; he gives her every opportunity to escape, to resist, to refuse to go further. I suppose he could have outright asked, "Is it all right if I kiss you?" but maybe that would have burst most people's romantic bubbles. (True story - that's what happened with my first kiss, and it was romantic, and I married him, dear Reader.)
Then Padmé has second thoughts. Totally understandable. She's been at war between her emotions and her logic for a while, and when she says, "No, I shouldn't have done that," Anakin steps back and apologizes, even though you couldn't quite blame him for getting mixed signals. He doesn't grin and say, "We don't have time for anything else" or "You're trembling; what are you afraid of?" Just says sorry and backs off.
At the picnic, their conversation indicates they're still on friendly terms. They have an intriguing exchange about politics, but mostly they laugh, they tease each other, and engage in some pretty intense physical contact (rolling around in a field, ahem) that they clearly both enjoy. At dinner, they share another friendly conversation, this one just a little more flirty. Once more emboldened, Anakin shows off his levitation skills and even acknowledges that he's breaking a few rules that Obi-Wan has set. Padmé laughs and accepts the fruit he's floated over to her, something that could be fraught with all sorts of symbolism about accepting the forbidden fruit. On a basic, more literal level, however, it's enough that she's accepting his offer of having a little fun, rules be darned. They've been dancing back and forth for a while, and if nothing else it would appear that she enjoys the dance, and she likes him as her partner.
But Anakin has grown tired of the dance. And it's the fireplace scene that probably ventures the closest to stalker territory; I fully acknowledge that. He lays his feelings bare, and he's a little brutal. "The kiss you never should have given me." Well, that wasn't a one-person deed, buddy. Fortunately, he doesn't really veer into blaming all his behavior on Padmé's irresistible allure. There's been a lot of talk about the dress Padmé is wearing in this scene and whether she was unconsciously or even fully consciously trying to send a message - but that's a little too close to the "what was she wearing when it happened?" line of questioning that happens to assault victims. Ugh. No thank you. Whatever Padmé's wearing, Anakin is still responsible for his own choices. And it's what happens after he's poured out his desperate, uncontrolled declaration that shows what choice he makes. Padmé says no. She even admits she has feelings, but she says no. He tries to suggest an alternative - "We could keep it a secret" - but she doesn't want that. And he accepts it. Unhappily, but he accepts it.
So how many romantic overtures does Anakin make after Padmé definitely says no? NONE. Even when he's emotionally raw, when his nightmares drive him to desperation and Padmé insists on coming along, when he gives into the darkest side of himself and sinks into self-hating misery in the aftermath, when Padmé comforts him and tells him he's still human - at no point during any of these interactions does Anakin hint at romantic feelings or desires. They even have a somewhat playful exchange when they go to rescue Obi-Wan, but he doesn't press her into anything beyond that. Padmé has set a boundary, and he does not cross it.
She crosses it instead, which it is within her right to do. Faced with death, she decides her objections don't matter and allows her emotions to guide her rather than logic. Is this a foolish choice? Does it ultimately lead to her death and Anakin's downfall? Those are really questions for another discussion. The point here is, Anakin's behavior does not constitute that of a stalker in any significant way, while Han's behavior does. And that's my mind-bending conclusion for the day.
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Talking about Han, I don't know... after all, he was a character who was anything BUT a gentleman. And his sexist lines in ANH were a lot of that. He's uncouth, conceited, self-centered... and not exactly happy about what he'd been dragged into. On Hoth, he WAS going to walk away... actually, he DID walk away, and Leia ran after him. I've always had the sense that this wasn't anything new, that Han would start to pull away, and Leia would pull him back but always under the pretext of the Alliance's needs. His response seemed to be more focused on his frustration that she wouldn't do anything for herself, but always, always, always the alliance. I don't know, maybe I'm reading way into it.
Their first kiss... okay, yeah, that was pushing it. Although as we see when Threepio sticks his head in, she DID have an exit behind her, so it's not entirely cornering her. But there was definitely a "No" in her responses, no matter how she changed her mind later.
On the whole, I really, REALLY wish people would cut Anakin some slack. The "problem" is that he was COURTING and WOOING, two concepts that are nearly unheard of today. Between the two, I'd take AOTC Anakin over Han. But if the field widens up, Luke is head and shoulders over the rest. (And Mara doesn't deserve him! Darnit!)
By the by, my first kiss also started with a question asking my permission. It was short and sweet, and enough to send my 16-year old heart soaring. Too bad things didn't work from there on out...
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Mara who? ;)
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Double standard? About Anakin? What trickery do you speak of?! ;)
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Anakin's behavior toward Padmé is far more respectful. I think it reflects the formal way he was raised among the Jedi and it reflects that he has Padmé up on a pedestal. He tries to flirt with her in his inexperienced way but when she rebuffs him, he backs off until she signals him again.
My issue is with people who find Anakin's behavior toward Padmé in AOTC as wrong or bad but think Han's cool or that his relationship with Leia is mature in TESB. Mature? If you ask me, it's even more immature for a woman in her 20s and a man in his 30s to behave the way they do than the gentle courtly behavior exhibited between Anakin and Padmé. Han and Leia do mature in ROTJ but critics don't find them as much fun when they are grown up.
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I like Han and Leia best in ROTJ! They're far more mature and giving. They're honest with each other; no more playing games. I've seen the complaint time and time again that couples are boring after they've gotten together past the will-they won't-they stage. And I think that's balderdash. If they get boring, that's just because the writers have gotten lazy. An established couple can be just as compelling, if not more so, than a courting couple.
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