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VIII
Very long song here, lots of fun to write.
Master of the House is my least favorite song from Les Mis; I always skip it when I'm listening to the soundtrack. It's absolutely filthy and it gets stuck in my head at all the filthiest parts. It's perfectly fitting for its purpose, of course - it introduces the Thenardiers, who are loathsome people. And it was quite fun re-writing the words for this scene. What better tune for a wretched hive of scum and villainy? As it turned, the song was so long I actually missed a verse. So just imagine a musical interlude before Han says, "With that, I'd say that our arrangement's made." Sheesh, this is hard work for something completely pointless. ;)
MOS EISLEY
(Original, in all its filthiness)
Obi-Wan: This wretched hive
Vile and depraved
Mos Eisley’s perils we must now brave
(A trooper stops their speeder)
Trooper: Whose are these droids?
Where are you from?
Obi-Wan: You don’t need to know where he has come from
Trooper: I don’t need to know
Obi-Wan: These aren’t the droids you want
Trooper: These aren’t the droids I want -
Obi-Wan: Move on
Trooper: Move on!
(Outside the cantina)
Luke: I thought that we were dead
How’d we make it by?
Obi-Wan: The Force can have a power on the weak of mind
Luke: Is this the place we want?
Obi-Wan: We’ll find a pilot here
But watch your step, young Luke, for trouble’s always near
Luke: Don’t you worry Ben, I’m ready
Nothing catches me off guard
Obi-Wan: (Aside) Just as reckless as his father
And his training twice as hard
Bartender: Master of the bar
Serving every kind
‘Cept for droids! I see ‘em, do you think I’m blind?
Make ‘em wait outside
We don’t want ‘em near
Hey, you slack-jawed farm-boy, open up your ears!
Luke: Guess you’d better go outside now
We don’t want more trouble here
Threepio: Gladly I'll obey you
May you succeed; we’ll disappear! (He and Artoo leave)
(Angry creature shoves Luke)
His friend: He doesn’t like you, boy
Luke: Sorry about that
Friend: I don’t like you either, as a matter of fact!
We are wanted men
I’m condemned to death
At least a dozen systems - isn’t that a threat?
Luke: I’ll be careful -
Friend: You’ll be dead
Obi-Wan: This one isn’t worth it, boys
Let me buy a drink, friends
(They attack; he stops them with his lightsaber in an instant)
Blink and there’s an end to all this noise
(To Luke)
Chewbacca here
First mate and crew
They have a ship that’ll probably do
(Going to table where Han sits)
Han: Han Solo here
My docket is free
I’ll transport your freight if you pay the fee
Obi-Wan: Is your ship fast enough?
We’ve no time to spare
Han: It’s made the Kessel run in record time, I swear
Fast enough for you
And your cargo too
Now just tell me something of the work we’ll do
Obi-Wan: Passengers alone
Just the boy and me,
Two droids and no questions - now are we agreed?
Han: Got yourself some local trouble?
Obi-Wan: Let’s just keep the Empire out
Han: Well, that’s something special
You’ll have to pay me extra for this bout!
It’s ten thousand now
Can’t take any less
Luke: We could buy a ship with that amount, I’d guess!
Han: Who would fly it then?
Could you do it, kid?
Luke: Sure I could! Let’s go and find a better bid
Obi-Wan: Though we don’t yet have ten thousand
We’ll give two thousand right before
And once we’ve arrived there
If we’re still alive there
Strive to be content with fifteen more
Han: With that, I’d say that our arrangement’s made
Bay ninety-four - just say the word, we’ll fly away
(Notices the troopers)
Better watch your step
Someone’s on your tail
Obi-Wan: Come along, we mustn’t let their search prevail
(They leave)
Han: Nothing to see here (Troopers move on)
Chewie, what a break
More than fifteen thousand for an easy take
Go and get the Falcon ready
One more job and then we’re free
Don’t know how I’ve lasted
Bounty hunters blasting after me
Greedo: Going somewhere, Han?
Han: Yes, go tell your boss
I’ve finally got the payment for the shipment lost
Greedo: Give it to me now
Han: I don’t have it here
Greedo: Jabba’s wrath is growing; you had best beware
If you’re lucky, he’ll just take the Falcon
Han: You’d have to kill me, more or less
Greedo: That’s exactly what I planned
Han: Still I have the quicker hand (He shoots Greedo)
So long Greedo; so long barkeep, sorry for the mess.
Master of the House is my least favorite song from Les Mis; I always skip it when I'm listening to the soundtrack. It's absolutely filthy and it gets stuck in my head at all the filthiest parts. It's perfectly fitting for its purpose, of course - it introduces the Thenardiers, who are loathsome people. And it was quite fun re-writing the words for this scene. What better tune for a wretched hive of scum and villainy? As it turned, the song was so long I actually missed a verse. So just imagine a musical interlude before Han says, "With that, I'd say that our arrangement's made." Sheesh, this is hard work for something completely pointless. ;)
MOS EISLEY
(Original, in all its filthiness)
Obi-Wan: This wretched hive
Vile and depraved
Mos Eisley’s perils we must now brave
(A trooper stops their speeder)
Trooper: Whose are these droids?
Where are you from?
Obi-Wan: You don’t need to know where he has come from
Trooper: I don’t need to know
Obi-Wan: These aren’t the droids you want
Trooper: These aren’t the droids I want -
Obi-Wan: Move on
Trooper: Move on!
(Outside the cantina)
Luke: I thought that we were dead
How’d we make it by?
Obi-Wan: The Force can have a power on the weak of mind
Luke: Is this the place we want?
Obi-Wan: We’ll find a pilot here
But watch your step, young Luke, for trouble’s always near
Luke: Don’t you worry Ben, I’m ready
Nothing catches me off guard
Obi-Wan: (Aside) Just as reckless as his father
And his training twice as hard
Bartender: Master of the bar
Serving every kind
‘Cept for droids! I see ‘em, do you think I’m blind?
Make ‘em wait outside
We don’t want ‘em near
Hey, you slack-jawed farm-boy, open up your ears!
Luke: Guess you’d better go outside now
We don’t want more trouble here
Threepio: Gladly I'll obey you
May you succeed; we’ll disappear! (He and Artoo leave)
(Angry creature shoves Luke)
His friend: He doesn’t like you, boy
Luke: Sorry about that
Friend: I don’t like you either, as a matter of fact!
We are wanted men
I’m condemned to death
At least a dozen systems - isn’t that a threat?
Luke: I’ll be careful -
Friend: You’ll be dead
Obi-Wan: This one isn’t worth it, boys
Let me buy a drink, friends
(They attack; he stops them with his lightsaber in an instant)
Blink and there’s an end to all this noise
(To Luke)
Chewbacca here
First mate and crew
They have a ship that’ll probably do
(Going to table where Han sits)
Han: Han Solo here
My docket is free
I’ll transport your freight if you pay the fee
Obi-Wan: Is your ship fast enough?
We’ve no time to spare
Han: It’s made the Kessel run in record time, I swear
Fast enough for you
And your cargo too
Now just tell me something of the work we’ll do
Obi-Wan: Passengers alone
Just the boy and me,
Two droids and no questions - now are we agreed?
Han: Got yourself some local trouble?
Obi-Wan: Let’s just keep the Empire out
Han: Well, that’s something special
You’ll have to pay me extra for this bout!
It’s ten thousand now
Can’t take any less
Luke: We could buy a ship with that amount, I’d guess!
Han: Who would fly it then?
Could you do it, kid?
Luke: Sure I could! Let’s go and find a better bid
Obi-Wan: Though we don’t yet have ten thousand
We’ll give two thousand right before
And once we’ve arrived there
If we’re still alive there
Strive to be content with fifteen more
Han: With that, I’d say that our arrangement’s made
Bay ninety-four - just say the word, we’ll fly away
(Notices the troopers)
Better watch your step
Someone’s on your tail
Obi-Wan: Come along, we mustn’t let their search prevail
(They leave)
Han: Nothing to see here (Troopers move on)
Chewie, what a break
More than fifteen thousand for an easy take
Go and get the Falcon ready
One more job and then we’re free
Don’t know how I’ve lasted
Bounty hunters blasting after me
Greedo: Going somewhere, Han?
Han: Yes, go tell your boss
I’ve finally got the payment for the shipment lost
Greedo: Give it to me now
Han: I don’t have it here
Greedo: Jabba’s wrath is growing; you had best beware
If you’re lucky, he’ll just take the Falcon
Han: You’d have to kill me, more or less
Greedo: That’s exactly what I planned
Han: Still I have the quicker hand (He shoots Greedo)
So long Greedo; so long barkeep, sorry for the mess.